"If you lived here...you'd be home now" or "The most expensive pop-tart ever"

Both titles are incredibly accurate descriptions of what I intend this blog to be about. Well I'm sure there will be plenty of random blabbering about anything and everything that comes to mind, but they describe what will be the core of the post. Plus I love those old rocky and bullwinkle episodes. You were never sure how they were going to end up at the end so the narrator always gave you 2 possible titles. They may not be amazing puns or anything but they work.

Wikipedia says this about the show's endings "At the end of most episodes, the show's narrator, William Conrad, announced two possible titles for the next episode — the second title always a pun that was related to the first (for example, the narrator once intoned during an adventure taking place in a mountain range: "be with us next time for Avalanche Is Better Than None,' or 'Snow's Your Old Man'" And in a different episode: "be with us next time for '50 cents lost' or 'Get that halfback'"."

So after years of finding ourselves and then finally finding each other we are together. After what seemed like ages of me telling myself it wasn't going to happen, it happens. I couldn't be happier. It's probably the best thing to happen to both of us. I look forward to every new day, every good time, every bad time, every challenge. Even this one...

Wow ask a ninja is easliy the funniest thing on the internet.

Money. It's a funny thing. To think I've got a much better job than I've ever had coupled with the smallest amount of money I've ever had. I've got to get my shit all in line. I think once I sell that stupid automobile things will work out. I hate that damned thing. Worst purchase I've ever made. I was listening to an economic report on NHPR the other day. They were talking about some current business practices they hope will bring in millions of dollars into the world's economy. I was thinking where does this money come from. You'd think there'd be a finite amount of money in the world. Otherwise why would people all be fighting for it. I know it all has to do with trade and commodities and population and everything. The thought just came to my head, a human being invented the dollar. Like one day someone said we are going to have money and it is going to be called the dollar. Instead of us trading goods and services we barter with this thing called money. Is it backed by gold? I don't think so. I think now it is just some numbers in a computer. So we invented this thing that separates us. The thing that essentially runs our whole lives. That keeps some people in the streets and others in high rise aparments. We created it and now it rules us. Did the native americans have a currency or did they just trade what they needed with other tribes? Don't get me wrong I'm thankful I live in the society I live in. I live in a time where I can make a living by creating music. I can survive and eat and have a roof over my head. If I was a native american 500 years ago I'd be hunting animals or farming all day long. I just wish people would realize that for our own convience and "happiness" we step on other people. I never plan on being rich. I want to be able to live comfortably and give everything else way to people who aren't able to live comfortably. Why should I keep it? What would it get me? A fancy home? Who cares. I've been at my happiest in a shitty condo in Tewksbury. At least I'd never overdraft my checking account for some fuckin poptarts.

I cannot wait for this insane rash to leave my elbows. It is driving me insane. I'm pretty sure it isn't the gluten thing. I've been eating gluten all week and it would probably have gotten insanely bad if that was the case. I can't tell if it is getting better or worse but it sucks. Stupid doctors that don't know shit.

Wow it is weird to watch my cat pee in the box in front of me. It kinda creeps me out. I can't understand why we have this second box in my room. For 2 cats you'd think one huge box would be enough. Both cats were sleeping on my bed when I got home. Very little makes me happier than that.

The second band played this week. Funny 3 years ago when Lark lived here I would have killed for one band. Now I've kinda got 2. Dipthong would be doing great if we were all on the same page. Do they want to tour again and really do this or what. The other band had an amazing time though. We all loved just playing music for the fun of just playing music. Keith totally clicked with everyone and had an understanding of what we were doing. We put no boundaries or limits or instructions or anything on each other. We just let loose. I could have played anything or nothing. Shit at one point I was just on my knees twisting the knob on my DM-2. Sure, I do that in Dipthong but only for Intros or "big endings." I would love to do this band full time but the voice in my head says "could you really do that full time? Would anyone come see you? Could you tour the world and not work a real job?" Well shit if sunn0))) can sell out the middle east downstairs I think Tashjian could do something. Should we write songs? Should we be totally instrumental?

Kind of parallels the other situation. Should I stay or should I go? Things might be hard if I stay but other things could be hard if I went. Would I be able to get on top of my finances if I went? Would I be able to keep it working from 40 minutes away, if I stayed? I think those are the biggest things. If I left I wouldn't be able to save like I know I should. I'm too old to have zero money. Zero money. I couldn't buy a candy bar right know. If I stayed here it would put a strain on us that we don't need. We finally have our shit together and we don't need to make it difficult on ourselves. Let's see if I can get rid of this fucking van!

Easily my longest blog ever and it still isn't done. Sorry for the bad grammar but I just getting it all out.

I'm listening to ISIS' Panopticon on vinyl right now and it seems to be a bit warped. The pitch is doing some fluctuation. Bummer. I've read that you can stack a shit load of vinyl on top of the one that is warped and it should flatten it out. Maybe I'll give it a try. It is a bit painful to listen to it all warped like that. Yay Disc 2 is not warped. My favorite songs are on disc one though. Oh well. What an amazing record. Joey Campbell said "You can tell which songs are off Panopticon because they sound hopefull." I know he used hopefull because that is how Ryan Traynor describes Explosions in the Sky and Ryan Traynor is everyone's hero. It is a decent description of Panopticon vs. Oceanic though. The music does have this glimmer of hope to it. The lyrics are about everything seeming to be okay but that is only because they are watching you. We are lulled into complacency but we are being monitored. Every where you go. There is no privacy, there is no real freedom. Like she said "take away our playstations we are a third world nation."

Is this the next last day?
Prepare to be carried by the "crows"
Heavy hand upon the land
Feel it's weight inside you.

Made in China

Probably my least favorite thing to read. Whenever I pick up something and read the words "Made in China" I just feel bad. Then feeling bad moves out of the way for feeling angry. Then the anger moves away and I feel hope. I know there is alternatives. I will spend the time and actively seek them. I just hope that I'm not the only one. boycottmadeinchina.org

Oh yeah someone is reading this...

Things are weird.

Just as the title says "things are weird". The minute I thought everything was figured out it seems I was wrong. I've got patience though, I've waited this long haven't I? Should I stay or should I go? I want to go but it might not be right. I hope putting it off hasn't made things weird or made me look bad. Tom Campbell... Not only does he hate me but honestly I might be a bit jealous hah. I mean I know that it would be fine that is just something that briefly came into my head. I want more than anything to not fuck this up. It's the most meaningful and important thing to me in the world. Wow I'm vague. Don't read into any of this and think you know what I'm talking about. You don't.

Band practice was good. The new rack is cool but I'm not sure if it's cooler than the other one. Time will tell.

I'm listening to new Helmet online and it's fucking great. It's heavy like the last one but isn't just retreading old Helmet cliches. It's not just a record with a bunch of Drop-D riffs. The song that is on now (I think it's the 3rd song it doesn't say) is unbelieveable. I'm alright Page says. Well Page you are better than alright you are fucking awesome.

I'm going to hang out at home tomorrow. Well for at least a while. I need to get band finance shit together and then e-mail about some shows. I need to pitch the tour idea to the band too. I think Scott is getting a little antsy about taking more time off work. I've got to make it look worthwhile. Then we can record and hopefully things will go from there. Then I can finish my book and maybe head out to open mic night at the Chit Chat. Maybe I'll even play a song. I'd be scared shitless to play acoustic and sing in front of a crowd. I just don't think I sing well. I want to but I just think the sound of my voice sucks. Like I can sing the right notes (sometimes) but the voice itself sucks. Too nasaly or something. I'm happy with the guitar though. Stick with what I know I'm good at. I'm way more James Iha than Billy Corgan. Shit this Helmet record fucking rules.

I think I'm going to go to sleep now. Well maybe a quick e-mail first.

i AM a sellout

but that's fine with me. After 2 weeks of liking it/hating it/liking it/hating it I've decided that I like it, sometimes.

The band has been on a bit of a break. The show this week has been cancelled and we haven't really practiced since the we got home. We needed some rest after the tour and I think we've gotten it. I'm recharged and ready to play some music! Plus I've got a new rack and new gear always makes me want to play.

On the music front I think Tashjin might actually happen. Maybe not exactly as I had planned. We just need a set night and Ryan, Joey, Keith, and I will make some noise! I just want to make some music for the sake of making music. That's what I'm here for right? So I should be doing it, all the time.

This weekend was...well it was a long time coming lets leave it at that.

I'm watching the Denali DVD and it is beyond amazing. This band is just incredible. I love Ambulette and all that but Denali KILLS!

I think that's all I'll write about now. Be back when I have something to say!

Blog?

I never posted about the last 2 shows of the tour. I also never posted about the last 2 local shows. Oh well. I think I'm going to turn this blog around into... a real blog. I'm not going to tell anyone though. So if you are reading this... don't tell me. I'm going to pretend I'm writing it for myself! I'm listening to the Horcast. It rules. We've got yet another show next Thursday. It will be our return to Manchester after a long time. Funny for a while we played there 2 and 3 times a month, now we rarely play there. Will there be a crowd? Probably not. I'm gonna start looking for some good shows next month and then tour again in September. yay. Okay nothing more to write. Maybe I'll actually use this...

Home

We've been home for a week and I kinda miss the road. We've got a last minute show tonight with our friends in Prospect Hill. The beautiful Haverhill, MA. Go see Superman Returns!